It was probably the biggest event the world has ever seen at Bondi near the third ramp. Yes it was the tenth annual Chloe Byron Memorial comp with 1,200 of the universe’s best long boarders lining you for a competition that Kelly Slater said he was too scared to enter. (I think that was because he would have been in the same heat as Foggy) Anyway all the usual suspects were there and some out on day release as well. There was dancing before surfing, Dave’s big breakfast, raffles, auctions (which lucky woman won me?) and a bit of surfing.
In the junior girls there was some serious competition with Rochelle Llanos (why are the Greeks so good at surfing..there are no waves in Athens?) taking it out from Polly Power (any relation to Tyre, Polly?) and Miley Fraser. Eliza took out the middle prize with Jemma certainly in the wrong corner (sorry Jemma a really lame joke but thats why the call me SJ…ask your parents….) and Camille..well Camille you did your best and it wasn’t good enough but you still would have beaten most of the BLC committee if you had been up against them.
In junior boys there was obviously bad judging because Coen so of Foggy came stone motherless..Coen blame your father..we all do….Jaydon..brother of Rochelle took the gold ( did you learn from Rochelle?) with Ollie Sherb taking silver and Corey brother of Jemma doing better than his star to take lead..sorry Bronze. Jemma this can’t happen again. Noah brother of Miley did a lot worse that his sister so setting back the cause of men 100 years with Darcy pipping out Coen.
A new category this year the Stan Up..sorry got confused talking abut Greeks..the Stand Up…with young Walrus..Robyn Stonefield blitzing and all star field.No need to thank me Robyn for all the coaching I have helped you with. Ralph was a poor second to Robyn and how anyone could be game enough to beat Big Matty I don’t know. Robyn and Ralph, matey knows where you live! Ok the person with the greatest name in Bondi Alex Kiss (is that short for something Alex) came second last with the Brigiite Bardot (for younger members a French actress who was called the sex kitten..no offence Frankie or young children who shouldn’t be reading this) coming last.
No in the women’s long board world championship for 2012 our own Angelina Jolie Kim Lipping took the top prize ahead of Phoebe and Jacqueline. Brenda Miley the owner of the world’s greatest surf school let the other three beat her with Frankie doing slightly better than she did in the SUP with Sofia..spelt in the proper Greek way coming at the tail of the died. But you have a lovely name Sofia.
OK then it was time for the Academy Awards of long boarding the men. Now it has to be said they all were relieved to know that I wouldn’t be there on Sunday so that meant there was a chance one of the 300 competitors could win.
Lets start from the bottom. JJ beat out Wally and Foggy to come last. The Craid Davies came second last with Shane Grub coming third last. Dick Cram came fourth last with tony Boyd coming fifth last. And..drum roll….the winner was none other than Kevin Holt.
Kevin you will go down in the history books and the people at the third ramp will talk about your exploits until the next ice age. Hmmmm the people at the third ramp talk about everyone so maybe that not such a big rap.


Junior Girls:
1st Rochelle Llanos
2nd Polly Power
3rd Miley Fraser
4th Eliza Wachholz
5th Jemma Corner
6th Camille Chupin

Junior Boys:
1st Jaydon llanos
2nd Ollie Sherb
3rd Corey Corner
4th Noah Fraser
5th Darcy Voumard
6th Coen Nelson

Stand Up
1st Robyn Stonefield
2nd Ralph Guderjahn
3rd Matt Tietjenan (Big Matty)
4th Alex Kiss
5th Frankie Lewis

1st Kim Lipping
2nd Phoebe Miley-Dyer
3rd Jacqueline Llanos
4th Frankie Lewis
5th Brenda Miley
6th Sofia Bartlett

Open Men
1st Kevin Holt
2nd Tony Boyd
3rd Richard Cram
4th Shane Grub
5th Craig Davies
6th JJ Botella

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