AUGUST 2012 Results: It was the Norman invasion.

It’s not enough that Claire was in the semis of the Australian Longboard Titles at Diamond Head (no in NSW) and that she took second or third in the August comp, but her brother won the whole August comp until Pres Armstrong (no relation to Lance that we know of) gave him the flick for not paying his dues (there’s a warning for you) and her father got a place in something only because SJ had to leave before the finals. I hope there are no other Normans out there.

Well there is at least one and if anyone gives that dog a board we are in serious trouble.

Anyway the other big story of the day was Gillo’s face.  Gillo withdrew for the thirds half way through with  blood streaming from his forehead. He still managed third. He was heard to mutter something about ‘serves me right for being in a comp with McCarthy. I

n other news Macca sliced and diced for the Dave Byron Hot Dog feast (eating not a riding style), the Greek representatives of our multi cultural club were out in full force but only one, Georgie, was man enough to compete. Our oldest Hellenic member, Stan, was in Bangkok which prompted very nasty comments from people who are supposedly his friends. I won’t repeat them here but they seemed to question the sex of the entertainers at the cultural centres Stan was visiting as part of his study tour of the Thai capital.

The sun was out, the surf wasn’t,Fluffy was selling souvenirs from the longboard titles (he got 4th in the over 35s mens division) out the back of the Dripping Wet truck which was parked in Dave Byron’s usual spot, Kimmy Mac who lost out during her heats in the Aussie titles forgot the comp was on and one of the BLCs founders, Barry McGuigan got a 4th placing in the over 65s (he’s 83!) despite being on chemo. Makes Gillo look like a bit of a wuz for pulling out for a simple bloodbin caused by the angry legal counsel of our club.

OK in the fifths it was Steve Joy from Tahu with new member Oliver Small (Oliver just remember you’re new and we don’t like smart alecs trying to show us up) then Donna and another new member Jennifer taking fifth. Sorry Jennifer that’s really dead last but we like your style.

In the Fourths everyone’s favourite school principal gave Keiran and Rodger a lesson (sorry) while the French bombshell Frankie who was handicapped by a severe case of night beforeits took last.

Steve McCarthy beat up Gilo to take first in the thirds (who was judging this?) with Wayne taking silver, and Gilo bronze but a gold medal for manning up. Wayne and Dennis shared the pitiful placings. I

n the seconds Georgie narrowly beat another new member, Myall, (Myall we don’t want to see too much of this..the Greeks can be very nasty), top pensioner Billy Norman came next with big Ross Smith stone motherless.

You know the story of the firsts, Rob Norman, Fluffy, Claire, a great performance from Timmy Pearson with the most beloved president in the history of the BLC f(or the last three days) Armo taking up the back of the pack.

In very poor decsions by the judiciary SJ aka the stud muffin let Claire win his heat and then had to go to look after starving children in Africa and so was given no points or credit, Foggy who stood in for the megaphone during the contest was not in the placings, nor was Dave Byron or Macca who worked wonders with the frankfurts.

Next contest is the 16th September . Feel free to bring birthday presents for SJ if you ever want to see your name in here again.
5ths 1 – Steve Joy 2 – Taku 3 – Oliver Small (new member) 4 – Donna Draper 5 – Jennifer (new member)

4ths 1 – John Dicks 2 – Keiran Lewis 3 – Rodger Jamieson 4 – Frankie Lewis

3rds 1 – Stephen McCarthy 2 – Wayne Dive 3 – Glen Gilligan (Who withdrew halfway through his final with a gash to the head and blood pouring down) 4 – Wayne Yates 5 – Dennis Sherriff

2nds 1 – George Haskas 2 – Myall (new member) 3 – Bill Norman 4 – Ross Smith

1sts 1 – Rob Norman (as a visitor, cannot take the trophy, so Fluffy wins it for 2nd month in a row) 2 – Fluffy 3 – Claire Norman 4 – Tim Pearson 5 – Paul Armstrong

Bondi Longboard Club August Competition Results

No need to feel bad about not seeing the Queen fall out of the sky, the Australians win slightly less medals than Lower Dijbouti or the Australian swimming team put in their worst performance since the obstacle course race in the 1900 Olympic Games in Paris where every participant had to crawl over boat in this sport, swim under the boats then finally had to climb up a pole. No forget London it was all happening off Bondi’s third rail where the true spirit of Australian manhood and womanhood and a few other hoods were on display. The sun shone and there was something resembling surf when over 35 athletes took to the water. In the gold medal decider it was Fluffy on the podium (available for autographs at the Dripping Wet megastore and bar on Campbell Parade. Silver went to Wiggles who given his recent run of health should be in the paralongboarding with other fine specimens like Foggy, Foggy’s son Cohen (who cares his hand was only broken in three places) and slamming Steve McCArthy, the man who gave hypochondria a good name. OK the bronze went to Scott, the lead medal to Johnny Dicks (what will your pupils say Deeksy?) and the cardboard to Timmy Pearson. In the seconds Armo the President scored himself first, graciously allowing Gillo to come second with an unbelievable performance (before he got in the water) from the only man with a two tone Ford, the warbler of the waves, the only man ACDC think are louder than them yes the Fogmeister. Dave Fraser had to be satisfied with fourth and Rod…I wouldn’t be boasting old mate…came in last. All the action was in the Thirds with the only representative of the original founders of the Olympic Games Georgie taking top spot. Behind him was Dennis with Billy Norman letting the SJ, Wally team down by coming in third in the Thirds rather than last in the sixths. Keiron bribed the judges to win on a countback from our own swimming coach Paul Singer with Rodger only able to manage last. In the Fourths two of the best sorts in the club did it for the women. Kim Lipping beat her old man easily to take a fantastic victory with Chris Quirk sneaking into third. The Bondi starlet with the French name Frankie took fourth with new member Darcy taking second last. Darcy if you want to stay a member you need to show respect and be back in the Sixths. Steve McCarthy the official legal counsel of the club (he’s offering a special on divorces this month to people who have had at least two divorces…hmmm where’s that JC when you need him) came in stone motherless. In the fifths it was a huge event with Steve Joy showing no respect for his elders and whipping the Walrus followed by new member Donna taking the bronze. Be careful Donna we don’t like new winners here. In the sixths it was an epic battle between two of the club’s greatest legends, John SJ Connolly and Wally stainless steel Benecke. It would take too long to describe all the action particularly since SJ was actually 10,000 miles away but Wally just managed to take gold which I think means in the only comp that counts (the over 25 years) Billy Norman leads from Wally and SJ closing the gap in third. Next comp is on the 15th of September which is a week after SJ’s birthday and gifts are always welcome if you want your name in the results. 6ths 1 – Wally Benecke 2 – John SJ Connolly even though he wasn’t there. 5ths 1 – Steve Joy 2 – Chris Stonefield 3 – Donna (new member) 4ths 1 – Kim (I beat Mick) Lipping 2 – Mick Lipping 3 – Chris Quirk 4 – Frankie 5 – Darcy (new member) 6 – Steve McCarthy 3rds 1 – George 2 – Dennis 3 – Billy Norman 4 – Keiron (on a count back from Paul Singer) 5 – Paul Singer 6 – Rodger 2nds 1 – Armo (Yep, el presidente) 3 – Foghorn 4 – Dave Fraser 5 – Rod 1sts 1 – Fluffy the Fluffmeister 2 – Wiggles 3 – Scott 4 – John Dicks 5 – Timmy Pearson