June Contest Report

A cold and cloudy winter solstice  day greeted us as we wrapped our hands around the rail of knowledge and asked for divine intervention in making another comp day decision. Walrus had his hands akimbo ready to call the “jam” off but the Prez overruled him and soon tents were being erected, coffees were being sipped and wetsuits oiled up. We were up and running and all the better for it as carload after carload of late arrivals jostled for position in the rapidly filling carpark.


Foghorn soon departed to his son’s football game as there was to be no food and raffle on this overcast day. A makeshift office was erected for Jo next to the judges tent and soon became a hit with everyone as “Macca” donated a few chairs to make it as cosy as a heated lounge room (when the sun finally emerged from its hibernation). The Coffee Club Prez soon had his comfortable backside planted in one of the chairs and was a fixture there most of the day spinning 15 types of bullshit to anyone that would listen.


Money changed hands as new members signed up, swelling our competitive ranks to 26 for the day. Not bad for the middle of winter with many absentees on various surf trips and holidays. Wally presented Jo with many and varied receipts from his monthly purchases but was caught out by the Prez when he tried to slip one in from “The Men’s Gallery” in between the ice and soft drinks dockets. Nice try Wazza!!!


Elsewhere in the car park  Darren was heard trying to squeeze into the “gayest” wetsuit ever (according to John Radcliffe). He needed several plastic bags to achieve the task and looked quite fetching in the black and white number offset with a pink legrope. All I can say is lucky for him he’s a black belt in something or rather.


SJ Connolly turned up in another crime against humanity and soon the fashion police were after him trying to  haul his skinny white arse away. The last we saw of him was Che Guavara walking towards the water smoking what appeared to be a short thick cuban cigar (or was it?).


Claire arrived somewhat depleted and dishevelled after a great second place finish up the coast. She soon supplied us with many blonde moments including supervising several willing hands in changing her punctured tyre. Like an episode of The Keystone Cops there were just too many Chiefs and not enough Indians for this difficult task. The tyre was finally changed and sanity restored, though I use the term very loosely with that bunch.


Al’s camera was certainly focused on more bum’s than noserides this day and hopefully we can find something useful enough to publish on the BLC site.


Another latecomer, Tim “Lazarus” Pearson was welcomed back into the fold and Bondi Rescue was on high alert in case another video opportunity presented itself as he casually strolled into the water to protect his points lead in his respective age division. Nice to see ya Timmy!


The judges sharpened their pencils but were hard pressed scoring a rideable wave. Zeeman was blackballed after scoring a 7 to a rider in orange when we don’t even have any orange rashies. Oh well, the show must go on.



And so to the surf. Well I wish there was something to report but alas conditions were only one level above very ordinary and most would not have bothered had they not wanted to beat Wiggle, who found the judges very harsh this day coming last on a fourth wave countback in an early heat. How the mighty have fallen. (hope the waves are better in Bali!!)

In the end everyone paddled, trimmed, turned, nosedived and mostly face palnted  in both heats and finals. The highest scoring manoeuvres were in the carpark and stairs on the way down to the sand with the scoring reflecting this accordingly.


Eventually Richard T caught the juiciest of the trash and showed great determination in outpointing  Paris, Branson and Zeeman with “Dicksy” just happy to make another final with his mates.


Special mentions to Josh Rich and Glen Gilligan and Steve Joy who “jagged” some well deserved trophies and new member Mathew Bradley who broke the cardinal rule and scored a trophy in his very first comp. (will they never learn – he hasn’t even been nicknamed by Dave yet).


The frothing was finished, the tents pulled down and the trophies awarded. New friendships were forged whilst old ones strengthened just that little bit more. I guess that’s what makes this club so great. Even on a crappy old surf day we can still come away with a satisfaction and joy only surfers can really understand. Would I give up this life for any other? I think not!!

Keep on grinnin you longboarders and see you all come July.         Heeeyaaaaa………..



The Final Results for June 2009 were:

1.Richard Townsend
2.John Radcliffe
3.Henry Brycki
4.Steve Czintos
5.John Dicks

1.Glen Gilligan
2.Claire Norman
3.Bill Norman
4.Tim Pearson
5.Jared Twaddell

1.Stephen Joy
2.Wally Beneke
3.Chris Stonefield
4.Rodger Jamieson

1.Mathew Bradley
2.Trista Vallentine
4.Tim Kirby

1.Josh Rich
2.Vaughn Kirkby
3.John Connolly
5.Phil Carbins