May Contest Report

After the dramas of last month we were looking forward to a straightforward, uneventful and “chilled out” comp in May.

The sun shone, the close outs pounded, the pretty girls strolled and the bacon sizzled. Thank heavens there are some things that never change at Bondi.


As I hobbled to my position at the engine room of the BLC I couldn’t help but be amazed how the club spirit was improving month in and month out with all chipping in and getting everything ready for another fun day with mates, waves and fifteen types of bullshit shared amongst old buddies.


The first glitch soon came in the form of no sound from the music system. After the brains trust couldn’t rectify the problem, a hasty committee meeting made a decision to raise funds for a new system in the future. When we discovered the power chord had not been plugged in we reconvened and decided to cancel the that idea.

Phew, that fundraiser was gonna be a killer. Soon Jackson Browne, Bob Dylan and Van Morrisson were  drowning out the noise of cars furiously parking in the bays and we were nearly underway. A short delay due to tide inconsistencies meant breakfast and a little free time. We  desperately tried to stump Kevin Hornhardt on trivia with a selection of sixties music. This proved impossible as the guru was right on the money every time. Good on ya you old rocker.


The heats reluctantly entered the water around 9.30am with numbers a little down and only 4 to a heat. The straighthanders abounded and one manoeuvre scoring was the order of the day. Commander Armstrong instigated a few drop in rules but all in all the heats were  friendly if somewhat uninspiring.


Jo was confused with the score sheets when a surfer in a black rashy was given first. On further investigation she discovered Steve McCarthy had scored a dolphin who frolicked out the back of our contest area. Nice one Steve.


A few new members swelled our ranks and our coffers and suddenly the monthly trophies became more and more precious as last moth they sat in lockup.


On the other side of the grass and in the absence of Dave’s regular kitchen bitches he scoured the horizon for  new victims and decide on looks rather than ability. Narelle was soon seen dishing out sausages with JJ buttering bread nearly as well as he waxes boards. The food always seems to taste better when its made with love. Thanks Dave and Narelle.

Foghorn was silent by his absence as he had to attend to sick kids. It only took him 45 minutes to say good-bye to everyone after dutifully bringing down the rashies for us.


Wally joined us after a night of celebration and he promises to take the over 60 division to another level. (possibly a level of debauchery not seen at this club before). Happy birthday old timer and many more to come.

The President of the coffee club was spotted saying his hello’s and good-byes and made a rapid exit. Hmmmph….. thinks he’s the real Prez, I’ll show him……..


The 8 footers found Wiggle keen to continue his dominance in his pet event but the evergreen Al Brown, the ever cranky Squiggle and the ever gorgeous Tory had other ideas. In the end an early drop in by Wiggle blew his chances;  too many Coopers cost Al his chance; too much time out of the water cost Richard T his; not enough aggression and heroics cost Steve Joy his; whilst Tory just  could’nt  sway the judges enough with her brave takeoffs. In the end Squiggle held the trophy aloft (albeit after hastily paying his membership fees to ensure he could head to the engravers for the month of May and finally dethrone the Wiggle. Hmm….. The trophy will look queer:  Wiggle, then Squiggle. Sounds like a conspiracy, lets have a Giggle.


After his heat Al snuck down (away from Connie) to shoot some photos and I will be keen to get my hands on some of them before they adorn the inside of his van and dreams.


The finals were held in unpleasant conditions with many deciding to drop out and live to fight another day.

The “Norman Conquest” was in full swing with Bill Norman scaring off all competitors in he 4th’s to get a free ride to the trophy room.

The 3rd’s saw Glen Gilligan continue his good form and sneak home.

The 2nd’s saw the men under heaps of pressure as they had to compete with the judges favourite  and possibly being overlooked no matter what they did. And Nostrodamus was right again with Tory getting the nod (wink and smile) over the boys.

Finally the 1st’s, with the Prez unable to defend his trophy after many an injury sustained during  a weekday surfathon. The sympathy could hardly be felt in the air over the raucous laughter from his compatriots.


Newcomer Josh Rich did his best as did Steve Z who took some monster wipe-outs in his attempt to hoist the trophy. In the end it was between JJ and Wiggle with  JJ unfortunately waiting to wave 7 to make his move. In the end Wiggle snuck home and was relieved to grab another trophy for the month even though the 8’s had slipped through his fingers.


Good karma returned to  the Prez finding a lost dog and ringing the owner (with no thoughts of a reward). But,The reward did come in the form of the owners (two hotties) giving him their numbers and thanking him for the ”doggie”. Giddyup!!


The couple romping, groping and pashing in the park added  an element of intrigue as we finally packed up and as Al took one more shot of them I feel it may just be a “hair” underexposed.


Bye to all for another month, and, as winter’s breath will truly be on us next month, we  can all start looking forward to winter swells, girls in ugh boots and short skirts, lots of rubber and of course the promise of more magical days at Bondi  longboarding with our good mates.

Aloha you thrashers



Full results for May:

Heat 1:
1st: Josh Rich
2nd: Steve Joy
3rd: Glen Gilligan
4th: Vaughn Kirkby

Heat 2:
1st: Steve Czintos
2nd: Peter Chapman
3rd: Richard Townsend
4th: Trista Vallentine

Heat 3:
1st: Grant Wignall
2nd: Roger Jamieson
3rd: Paul Singer
4th: Bill Norman

Heat 4:
1st: JJ Starr
2nd: Tory
3rd: Steve McCarthy
4th: Tim Kirby
5th: Guy Holden



1st: Grant Wignall
2nd: JJ Starr
3rd: Josh Rich
4th: Steve Czintos

1st: Tory
2nd: Peter Chapman
3rd: Roger Jamieson
4th: Steve Joy

1st: Glen Gilligan
2nd: Richard Townsend
3rd: Paul Singer

1st: Bill Norman

1st: Tony Ebeyer
2nd: Al Brown
3rd: Tory
4th: Steve Joy
5th: Grant Wignall
6th: Richard Townsend

April Contest Report

Dearly beloved we are gathered here to celebrate not only the heroes that fought for us on Anzac day, but also those heroes that breathed, zapped and thumped life back into one of our own longboarders.

I say hallelujah and praise the Lord.

Forget about Bondi Rescue, don’t waste your time with Bondi Vet, there is a bigger show coming to your screens…… Bondi Longboarder, a tale of two banks.

Witness the horror as Nimbin and Turtle hurtle out of control, finally colliding on a 2 foot shore dump, injuring both pride and reputations. Feel the tension as The Wiggle shamelessly snakes and drops in on his fellow competitors whilst all the while smiling sweetly. Hold your breath as Zeeman and The Walrus have there boards mercilessly picked up and flung to the concrete by a devastating gust of wind that surely carries an eerie message.

And if that’s not enough, feel helpless as you watch one of our own being brought back to life by the skilful and ever-present Bondi Lifesavers and lifeguards…..yes all this and we even haven’t had lunch yet. I could not script it any better myself.

And what a lunch…..many fingers were still being licked as the ambulance carefully deposited The Turtle into safe and caring hands down at St Vincents.

For those of you who missed the real life drama, The Turtle had to be dragged from the water unconscious, resuscitated and brought back to life by our underpaid and under appreciated lifesavers and lifeguards. Many thanks to them as well as Glen Gilligan and company who managed to carry him out of the water quickly and efficiently.

I can report that The Turtle is doing well, up and about, all be it with a new stent in place. He was seen circling Bronte during the week with the glint of an anxious surfer in his eye.

Speedy recovery Turtle and hope to see you next comp.


The comp was cancelled after the first round due to this unexpected drama but points from round one will carry forward to the yearly totals.

Out and about we saw the new Foghorn in place (not Greg Nelson but the loudspeaker variety) with Paul Amrstrong brandishing it  around like a cop on patrol. Some members were seen finally paying their last years subs (yay) and most of us enjoyed the sunshine for a change all be it with subzero westerly winds. Jo began the long and painful task of tidying up all the odds and sods from years of disorganisation and I’m sure when its done it will just have to start all over again.

With  the season nearly half  done the points scores are hotting up in all the age divisions so get out there you frothers and make sure you are in the running for the big trophies at the end of the year. See you all in May.

Aloha and get amongst it!



Results for May:

Heat 1:
1st  Chris Stonfield
2nd  John Campbell
3rd  Glen Gilligan
4th  Tim Pearson
5th  Guy Holden
6th  Steve Joy

Heat 2:
1st  Grant Wignall
2nd  Claire Norman
3rd  Steve Czintos
4th  Paul Singer
5th  Tim Kirby
6th  Phil Carbins

Heat 3:
1st  Henry Brycki
2nd  Chris Quirk
3rd  Steve McCarthy
4th  Greg Nelson
5th  R Jamieson
6th Keith Goss

Heat 4:
1st Dale Fraser
2nd Wally Benecke
3rd Suzie Grant

Heat 5:
1st John Dicks
2nd Stan Peters
3rd Ross Smith
4th Josh Rich
5th Bill Kriketos
6th Imke

8 footers:
1st Grant Wignall
2nd Glen Gilligan
3rd Steve Joy
4th Tim Pearson
5th Henry Brycki